relating to other expats - musings about this topic

Egypt, Cairo, taxi, Dec2008

I'm visiting Vietnam for two weeks, for work. 

The plan is for me to work and live in Saigon (HCMC), starting at the end of 2010.

A mate of mine wrote   "Getting a grip on HCM? Looking for long term place to live? I'm sure you'll steer well clear of the expats."

It made me think about how do I relate to expats when " I IS one 'o dem MESELF ?"

I know where I want to live in Saigon, I have the area sorted, just need to find the flat or room.

Might live with a Vietnamese family if I can get my own space, else will get a flat.

Re other expats: I found I cannot ignore other expats,in fact I don't want to, but I don't want to submerge myself into them either. I need other expats, they can help in ways no others can - its a kind of 'we are all in this together' thing,  and the ship will only survive if we all help each other. I'm overstating the point of course.
It's a balance thing.
But there is a need for a kind of support only other expats can give.

Sometimes I talk to students who are lost and have NO connection to their own people in Australia. 

They have cut all ties with their own country men and they get into trouble, have difficulty coping. 

I suggest, "ask one of your countrymen, they will know how to deal with this multicultural relationship - how to get visas, work, deal with this in your culture etc... " 

Because I live in Australia, there are always things I have no idea about that only their own people know.
     Other students get too much into their own people and hide there, their English does not improve and they don't have friends outside their own culture. They live in a ghetto.
I've done that too. Work pressure makes it harder to leave the ghetto.

Hmmm.......

Now that I think about it again: he key is who you live with.
If you live with your own people (other expats) you don't mingle with the local culture as much. That applies to expats in SE Asia and to overseas students in Australia.
The best balance I've seen was when a Lao student lived with an Aussie flatmate. She still kept up her connection to other Lao as part of her wider circle of friends, but she did not live with them, talk Lao at home, socialize with only her own people.

However: each person is different and what is right for one is not right for another.
Some people need to hide in the womb till they are ready to emerge, others need to leave all their own culture behind and go solo into the jungle. The Colonel Kurtz types I guess.
And then these things change over time as well.

It is not unusual for newcomers, new travellers to fall totally head over heels in love with a new country and culture and go feral and disappear.

The joys of expat lifestyle is discussed here http://heikorudolph.blogspot.com/2009/01/joys-of-expat-lifestyle.html

I wrote this blog to give an idea of the positive and negatives of each choice.

Some of my best friendships have been with expats while living in Japan, Laos, Thailand, visiting Taipei, and Saigon. 

Sep2008

questions frequently asked of expats

Interesting blog I came across:
http://bearshapedsphere.blogspot.com/2009/04/expat-life-those-pesky-and-repetitive.html

The joys of an expat lifestyle

From:		H
To:		S
Date:		Monday, 13 December 2004 07:28:11 pm
Subject:		Why I pine for an expat life...

This was first written as an email in 2004, and based on my life in Kobe Japan (photo on left) and in Vientiane Laos.

Dear S,

You expressed dismay when I suggested life in another country can match and even surpass aspects of living in your own country.

There are positives and negatives in any situation, here are the positives for me:

1) Social life as an expatriate is much faster, more ALIVE, and full of new and unknown opportunities.

As an Engineer I have to put numbers on it and would say that as an expat the degree of community acceptance and social knitting with neighbours, work mates, local shops, church or club etc... is about 4 to 5 times faster than normal life in Australia.

For example: In 6 months as an expat in Japan, Kobe city, I had achieved a degree of social integration and networking, knitting and linking that took me 2 to 3+ years to achieve in Australia.

In Japan especially I noticed this phenomenon especially. After 6 months I was already a ' golden oldie' in the expat circles I moved in. I ‘knew the ropes’ and helped others. I’ve been back to Melbourne after a long absence a few times. I didn't feel that kind of community connection even in 3 years of working and studying and living in Melbourne.

The friendships I made in Japan were no deeper nor shallower than those I made living in Australia.

Japan was only one instance of this speeded up social interaction phenomenon. I have noticed this in other places I lived overseas (Laos, Thailand, Switzerland).

2) Lifestyle - " the foreigner"... the 'gaijin' the 'falang' the outsider... this appeals to me personally for some reason. Admittedly I have had good jobs overseas as teacher and engineer, as well as volunteer and as a backpacker.

The status of being outside the dominant society is something I have enjoyed as an expat. I have never really had any desire, or hope, to be accepted totally as a local. I have enjoyed the respect, the curiosity and the freedom to look at a society from some small distance as a quasi outsider.

Yes .... it has its drawbacks because some societies see you as a white imperialist, as Mr Moneybags, or a "backpacker", but there are ways to live with that, and to blend in (for example: even now, when travelling in Thailand as tourist, I dress such that, I am 'mistaken' as an expat, “oh you live in Bangkok ?”, or “How long have you worked here ?” once I have achieved that level, I am satisfied that I have hit the right mix of dress and casualness and blend-in-ness)

3) As an Expat I see that Australia is only ONE of many universes...

It is good to be able to stand back and see Australia with an outsider's eyes – sense of perspective.

When I returned from overseas - what I saw in Australia is... well that's a different topic, - ask me another time or email me :-P

4) Being back in Australia: I see how many good and wonderful things we have in Australia and that we can stand up to strengthen these good things. I see key things that need help as well.

[Editor: orig article had more on the undesirable changes in Australia since first leaving the place. That's another topic.]

Well there you have it, that's it in a nutshell for "why I like expat life" and how I feel about being back.

NB: I don't claim these things as UNIVERSAL truths, there are many expats who did not experience this kind of thing, these are purely my own observations.

cheers

H 

These nations are the most hospitable to expatriates, according to a new report.

http://www.forbes.com/2009/11/30/worlds-friendliest-countries-lifestyle-travel-canada-bahrain-hsbc-chart.html

An essay on being 'foreign' 
http://www.economist.com/world/international/displaystory.cfm?story_id=15108690