33 years later

30Apr11 Saigon

Went for a 'get me outtahere' drive today - 
just took the motorbike and drove out East, following my gut instinct and curiosity,
over bridges and rivers, and down into almost empty land
lots of nature, trees, palms, and everywhere rubble and houses that had been bulldozed and demolished.

driving further I ended up directly opposite the fancy main street of Saigon, on the other side of of ther river. There was the Majestic Hotel.

On this side it was a slow , forgotten village, barbed wire for land that would be developed.
old men on motorbikes,
sleepy town,
dogs in the sun

women in the market looking at the foreigner on his motorbike.
Driving along the riverside, now on the other side are container ships, wharfs, and on my kids swim, 90% of the houses are knocked down,
ready for mega development.

There is something about this place,
the freedom, the motorbike, the space,  and the slow pace of life here, and just across the river, the hi tech, super intense Saigon.
the line from Hotel CAlifornia come into my mind.

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell

but it is more than that,
the atmophere the sunlight,and the knowledge that I'm free,
I feel like I used to feel at eighteen, travelling in SE Asia, the world to explore,
full of possibilities,
the invisible bars of fear had not hemmed me in quite as much.

And now at age fifety one, , I remember this time and that same feeling comes back to me. It feels like a HUGE circle has closed.
33 years later, still trecking through Asia, exploring life,
nothing much has changed.
Full of questions
almost the same questions,
lots more experience.
but most of all an excitement about life and love of the adventure of it.
I've stepped out of the Hive, out of the organized implicity, asssumed, fears of what 'one should do' what 'one should worry about' and 'what is peer acceptable behaviour'. Fuckit all.

then it's back to central Saigon, cool airconditioned cafe with Yoghurt fruit salad and wireless internet, to send this by email.
Heiko

the humanness of Vietnam: Nutella Baguette

Saigon District 1, Feb 2011

There is a place where they  have soup and baguettes even at midnight.
I have Nutella at home, all I need is a baguette and the walk will do me good.
I get my baguette at the end of Nguyen Du street for 3000 Dong (15cents AUD) and turn back along Ly Tu Trong Street, opposite Norfolk Mansion. It's 10:30pm. 

No one walks on my side of the street, just a lady dressed like a housewife walks in front of me.
"Hello"
"Hello"
"I come with you."
"I don't think  so"
"why not?"
"--------no answer---------"
"I'm hungry."
blah blah blah etc...

"Stomach small"
"I'll buy you a meal, but no money"
"Ok"
we walk some more.
"I come with you"

"No I don't think so"She is mid 30's nice looking, normal lady. I'm surprised she acts like this.  

"why"
"--------no answer---------"

"why"

"--------no answer---------"
"why"

"--------no answer---------"
"why you don't want me"

"--------no answer---------"
"I'm hungry."

Fine, let's see if she is really hungry. I pull out my baguette, give it to her. 

She takes it. No inhibition.
"Hang on", I take the baguette back and break off a bit for myself. "I'm hungry too"
She takes back the rest.
Well there goes my Nutella baguette, oh well....

We kind of go the same direction.
She holds up her bit of baguette, "very good"
I give her a thumbs up...

She walks along on the other side of the road and eats the baguette, we are heading in the same direction.

I duck into a convenience store.

we part ways...

21Feb11, Saigon

Yes you who must leave everything that you cannot control.
It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.
Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned:
When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned.

---- Leonard Cohen, - Sisters of Mercy

tears

TET 2011, Ly Thu Trong

It's late, 10pm, an old woman sits on the footpath, next to a tree.
She is holding a sleeping eight year old boy across her lap.
Something is wrong.
I take another look, tears are rolling down her face.
She is dressed in simple clothes, old and nothing fancy.
She is crying openly, does not care who sees.
There are no people passing only cars and motorbikes with bright glaring lights.
I stop, embarrassed.
What to do ?
I give her some money.
She hardly notices, but then  takes it.
It makes no difference to her, but I don't know what else to do.

Ten minutes later I walk past her again, on the way to La Fenetre Soleil. She is still there, crying. 
I stop, put my hand on her shoulder, say a few words.  Move on.
Later I wonder, what else I could have done ?
"You could have sat beside her, held put a hand on her shoulder and just been there. Who cares about language at a time like that ?"
But I was too inhibited for that... money is all I could think of.... until after she was gone ....
Was the boy alright, he looked like he was sleeping, but maybe he was sick ?
I wasn't fast enough on my feet.
hm........next time my friend, remember, let your heart speak....

 9Feb11 Ly Tu Trong street, Saigon, D1,

 

the humanness of Vietnam: Thumbs up + smile :-)

Saigon 2011 January, typical traffic

Riding in traffic, swimming in a sea of motorbikes, surrounded by motorbikes, 

I'm one of them, one of hundreds, inching forward, grabbing that bit of space, 

chugging along, impassive face, aware all around. .
A tall young woman, sitting high up at the back of a bike, passes me and turns around, bright smile on her face. She gives me a big thumbs up sign, me the foreigner on his on his 50cc Honda Cub bike. 

I feel accepted. 

I feel part of the place. 

For a moment I see life from the vantage of the majority of Vietnamese in Saigon. 

 10Feb11 Saigon, Le Loi Street D1.

I'm wanted at the traffic-jam
They're saving me a seat
I'm what I am, and what I am
Is back on Boogie Street...

- Leonard Cohen  

the value of first aid - VS feeling useless

Saigon going from  D7 to D1:

25Feb11 driving home today man on bridge, lying in heat, blood down his face, big bump on back of head. 
I stop to feel his pulse. 
normal, strong, about 60/min. 
no one knows what to do, they all wait for the ambulance. 
they mark the road with the outline of the bike, 
they leave him in the heat. 

do I move him, ? 
do I put his feet higher than his head ? no he has head injury, 
I have no idea,  I do nothing. 

I feel useless I leave. 

later I remember: unconscious people can feel and hear soothing kind presence, even if I can DO nothing I could be there and just hold his  arm. Provide shade. Check his breathing...
hm.... 
I hope there is no next time... but if so.... then next time

Unique temple in Saigon

Unique temple in saigon

Half the face is just iron mesh, the other half has concrete and looks like a Buddha.
It's the face that towers over the low restaurants at the intersection.
Every morning I've seen it.
Every morning I mean to go and check it out.

Today I did (15Feb11).

It's hot, the atmosphere is surreal, the temple looks like a home made structure, by someone with talent and ideas.

it all sits on a convoluted concrete structure

a face sits in the garden.....

a cave houses a monk....

if you look closely at the main temple, you can find all sorts of surprises high up....

I circled around all the way to the street view....

and found an assembly of deities inside.....

Tea and conversation with the priest....

and a tour of the temple inside

an ancient energy has sought refuge here.... outside high rise buildings go up, building is furious and unrelenting... where did this place come from ?

The garden holds more surprises

playfulness done very well, this is a temple unique and special that expresses it's creator's character.

A crowd watches you - as you watch them.

and it's all hidden, in plain view,

along an ordinary looking road and near a small turn off...

if you feel hungry, these guys make a great Phoe soup

The temple reminds me of Thailand, the Isaarn area, of the North East, same imagination, same free form, same ancient feel to it.

Lovely surprise, just a short walk from my corporate air-conditioned networked office.
Where is it ? On a very busy road going district 7

Saigon musings: war n peace

the video shows black and white footage of 1968,-

"Hero level of american killer, because he killed 16 american soliders, and

destroy 3 tanks".

a ripple runs  through  the English speaking audience around me.

........

the video goes on to  describe the battles and deaths, and victories over

"the enemy"

 and how the people of Chu-chi, living in the tunnels resisted toxic gas,

crazy dogs, bulldozers, and SWAT teams to go on fighting in a war that cost

1,000,000 vietnamese and 58,000 US lives.

why did it strike  me as odd - just for a split second - to hear a hero's

title awarded for killing americans ?

ah yes, of course, ....

the chu-chi tunnels were a 200km long network that formed a key resistance

point in the Vietnam war. The tunnel fighters were never defeated.

now 33 years after the war....

the ideology that caused all those deaths has grown mellow, for all

practical purposes, business and trade and commercialism has taken hold of

Vietnam.

there are 25m motorbikes in Vietnam, 1000 new ones every day.

Backpacker places and pubs with names like Apocalypse NOw and B52 attract

western travellers.

our guide, fought in the war, he spent 6 months in the tunnels.

I went down and  through a 20m section of a slightly widened tunnel

(otherwise western big people would get stuck).

In the middle of the tunnel I was squatting and shuffling along, people in

front of me and people behind me. the Mexican girl in front felt

claustrophobic. I started to wonder 'what if I die down here, just earth,

can't even move, or stretch out or stand up, or ....- ooops better just keep

going. - stop those thoughts.

We made it out. After all, it was just a tourist experience, it wasn't real

life was it ?

Our guide never goes down into the tunnels anymore.

When he speaks  on the bus intercom he describes history, that he lived

through. he remembers shooting people.

as he rambles on he grows philosophical and tries to make sense of his life,

of all the changes he has seen.

some of his friends are now BIG people, bishops in Hanoi and such. he is a

tour guide who cannot shake the memories...."when you are on the

battlefield, someone  comes to kill you, if you don't kill them,  they will

kill you...."he tells us. But mixed these memories he chuckles and

philosophizes, .... "time goes so fast, and you look back and you wonder

what have I accomplished ?

be happy, if you not happy, you did nothing at all, "

I wish I'd taped some of his speach... it was strangely touching...

I remembered my childhood school lessons in germany: my teachers told me how

it works: first  an enemy is painted as bad, and horrible, then he is

dehumanized and made to be evil.

then  its ok to kill him. he is no longer human after all. He is something

abstract in a mental philosphy and we are just correcting the

philosophy.....the principles....

I grew up thinking that after WW2 we had learnt our lessons.

germany was rebuilding itself, vowing to not make that mistake again, -

ever.

I thought after Hiroshima we had learnt.

I thought after Vietnam we had learnt.

I thought after Iraqu.... actually no, I didn't anymore....

at that point I realized something else.

Every time  I hate someone, wish them to no longer to exist, want to solve

the problem by just getting 'rid'of them, I am in effect doing what war does

on a larger scale....

how would I cope with someone wishing me dead ? would I retaliate ?

I don't know, there are no really simple answers  for me anymore, I'd have

to deal  with each situation as  it comes.

But  I hope all possible alternatives for peace are tried first.

so i hope  for the future....

and remember to be happy NOW, because NOW is all anyone ever has.

if this has been a bit philosophical... perhaps I caught it from the

tourguide today... the old man who reflects on his life in a bus... full of

young backpackers on the  way to the Chu-chi tunnels..... .

the old man who fought in a bitter war, survived  and  wonders what it was

all about....

the old  man who is trying to make sense of it all.....

making money and getting a car or a new motorbike or fancy degree, do not

grab him anymore....

a mellow strange humour and a self mocking laugh follows his soliloquies...

he turns off the mike and we do most of the trip in silence.....

hyco